Someone New and the notion of something old

8/5/2012 10:54pm
Wish I would have been writing more. I feel like my most my recent romantic endeavor is going to need some documentation since it's near its end.

 I'd like to remember the butterflies and my vision of him through rose colored glasses the perfect man I saw while  blinded by the feeling and rush of someone new. The excitement,  the possibilities, the feeling of your heart racing.  That  high that only a new man can produce. Then you both become real. Both his and your flaws start to surface and the countdown begins, the sand in the hour glass begins to slip as you both commence the begining to the end.You begin to see the imperfections and they begin to block the vision of what you fell in love with, the mirage of  perfection. The man who you met, the reflection of what you percieved to be yourself in four years, The self actualization, the success, the intelligiance, your mutual tastes, interests, and views. From music ,art, self expression, relationships, the world, politics, and humanity, This vision/perception of his persona begins to fall apart and becomes foreshadowed by his actions.

The fact he claims to love you but only late at night or when he is drunk.  The way he only calls you when inebriated. The fact that all the good times between you 2 took place due to drunken nights you happened to end up at his place on you or someone else's accord . The fact That the only sober good times you can recall your responsible for. How it just so happens that every date you two went on only happened because you were there.Drunk the previous night and stayed, so he suggested breakfast, lunch or a movie since you were already there. His jealous interoggations his wild accusations and assumptions the way he demoralizes your character condescendingly and addresses your doubts.

 Eventually you get to a fork in the road where you have to ask yourself is it worth it? Are you selling your self short? Should you pull the plug before the memory of the perfect man is completely gone?